Free Writing for Terra I - July 5, 2014
Strikes me as the oldest. Often reliable, probably looked after Aqua as children. Definitely acted like an older brother when Ven got there. Probably lived everyday striving to live up to Eraqus's ideas and standards. Feel like what he wanted was to protect his family and loved ones. But when facing Aqua was uncertain of how to do that once he saw her skill. Scared him a little. That would scare me. Maybe that fear was presented as darkness. That can happen, fear leading to anger and hatred and all that. Something that would cause him to turn from the path of light. Feel odd though, since they can't exist without the other. Even Ventus represents light and dark in is very being. Although knowing that the darkness can be mastered gives me hope that Terra will ultimately be okay. Riku overcame the darkness. Terra's heart still exists somewhere. His pure sense of will moved his armor and key blade even though Xehanort had taken over his body.
Free writing for Terra II - July 6, 2014
Terra is is strong and loyal. I think the reason he turned to Xehanort was because Eraqus could be strict. What Terra needed was someone to understand his struggle not condemn it. Eraqus's stern personality probably made it difficult for Terra to continue to open up to him because he often felt like he couldn't please him. That didn't mean that Terra didn't love him, though. I feel like he loved Eraqus very much. Terra was just at a standstill for being able to make his father proud. When darkness had appeared, Eraqus was definitely disappointed. It's hard to shake it when someone you love is clearly disappointed even if they give you a chance to "redeem" yourself. Terra didn't need redemption, he needed understanding. Unfortunately Xehanort offered something close enough. The world was black or white for Terra and he ended up caught in the middle, striving to do what was right. Only to be twisted into fighting the one person he respected the most. And he did it without question, most likely based on the beliefs and morals in which he was raised.
Free Writing for Terra III - July 7, 2014
I believe that Terra wanted more than justification. He wanted answers. He journeyed to find out how to control and master the darkness within him. He wanted to be able to go back home with everything under control and let Eraqus and the others know that he had stopped the darkness from taking him over. I feel like that was his driving force in his journey. It wasn't just a way to check up on things happening outside; it was also a way to master something that was considered undesirable. He was taught to control his feelings and maybe his emotions. I wonder if this is why he might have been faced with the darkness in the first place. Perhaps it helps relate to his being human and no matter how good of control we have on things, there can and might always be something that we need to overcome. I feel like the most important things for Terra were proving that the darkness did not own him while protecting those closest to him. At some point these ideas became one in the same and he utilized the darkness to protect everyone which forced them at arm's length once he saw how badly he could truly hurt someone. This was only made worse by his trusting nature in which he goes to fight Eraqus. Albeit, he does it to save Ven. He knows it's wrong to kill Ventus for someone else's mistakes and Xehanort uses the rift in Eraqus and Terra's relationship. Terra holds his relationships in very high regard, so this must have been very difficult for him. He had to choose between his brother and his father, but I doubt he thought that siding with Ven would have cost his father's life. That came as quite a shock to him - though he accepts responsibility for having a hand in his father's death.
Free Writing for Terra IV - July 8, 2014 Terra dreams of being a keyblade master. He shares this dream with Aqua and Ventus. I believe that this shared dream is what held them together as they trained. They all worked to the same goal pushing, encouraging, and inspiring each other. I wonder then, what went wrong when Terra and Aqua had to face off in the Mark of Mastery. Perhaps it was different than training because Terra knew there was more at stake. Maybe lost in the moment he couldn't control his emotions and the fear and the pressure of failure manifested itself into darkness when he thought he might lose. That's an interesting thought to me because I don't find Terra to be insecure. Sure, he does have some doubts about what is going on and he does ask a lot of questions. Understandable since the darkness that manifests during the match shocks him too. He does try to solve his problem with the guidance of those he trusts, but I don't generally get the idea that he doubts himself. His journey through the worlds helps him to reconfirm that he needs to control the darkness. He doesn't try to get rid of it, which leads me to believe that he realizes that light and dark exist together. At the very least, I feel like he tends to have a very collected head and that he tries to get through things by himself. This is most likely why he tries to send Ven back home and tells Aqua not to worry about him. Still, everything he does is for those two and I wonder if battling the darkness inside would have been easier with one of them by his side. His heart was always in the right place. He wanted to master the darkness so he wouldn't be a burden to those he cared about. He just didn't know how. His struggle was made worse by Xehanort who held the title of master. Terra thought he could trust him just the same as he trusted Eraqus. I feel like both men betrayed him ultimately. Despite some of Aqua's harshness in response to his actions, he admits his mistakes and says it will not happen again. I know Aqua is worried about him, but at that moment she was so much like Eraqus that I wanted to scream. Thankfully for Ven, that was the one thing they easily agreed on. It was easy to put everything else aside when Ven was involved and I think that's what ultimately saves their friendship.
Free Writing for Terra V - July 10, 2014
It is odd for me to think that I have everything under control. Particularly when something important is coming up. I feel like Terra usually keeps his mind clear and stays as focused as he can. When the mark of mastery came up, I imagine he was more than a little excited. I think he was nervous too. Why wouldn't he be? After years of training his dream was close. The fact that he didn't pass probably made him feel insecure. I don't think it shattered him, though I think it did help to create a crack in his usually confident demeanor. I've been wondering for a while if that darkness was solely Terra's. I can see it being anxiety and insecurity, shock that Aqua was so capable and he started to doubt himself a little. But, I also believe that Xehanort had quite a bit to do with that initial spark (someone new was watching, they had a lot more to prove. Not just to Eraqus but to his old friend). There's a lot of pressure there. I have wondered if there was even a tiny bit of jealousy within Terra that made him feel as though he wasn't good enough. Maybe that seed of darkness was what Xehanort ultimately needed, but I feel like that isn't enough to manifest as largely as it did. I still hold Xehanort responsible for that, because I believe he wanted Eraqus to suffer. What better way than to take his child? He knew he couldn't take Ventus (he already had Vanitas). I wonder if what saved Aqua was the fact that she was female? Perhaps she was far more calm? I wonder if that would have mattered! But considering the mark of mastery, perhaps Xehanort already knew that Aqua could not be as easily swayed as Terra could (women can be quite stubborn after all). I doubt it would have meant any less to Eraqus had Xehanort chosen any one of his children. I get the feeling that Terra was the first, though, and that makes it all the more satisfying for Xehanort. I also tend to think that Terra might have been very similar to Eraqus in way of strength and stubbornness, maybe Xehanort's plan to take Terra had a twofold plan of conquering every aspect of Eraqus that he couldn't stand - especially in context of Terra being so willing to do anything and everything his master had asked (where Ventus lacked stamina and had a hard time following directions). Of course, it doesn't help that Eraqus raised Terra to be so trusting. Terra is constantly getting used because he likes to help people out - he has to help them out. It's the right thing to do! I feel like Xehanort understood that very well despite limited interactions with Terra initially. Maybe his knowledge of Eraqus made it that much easier to manipulate Terra. That's another reason I think Eraqus was strict. Terra wouldn't be looking for understanding if he thought he could speak freely and easily with Eraqus. Sometimes, it's easier to listen to advice from an outsider (even if they're saying the same thing) because fathers can be quite tricky and lecturing even when they don't mean to be.